I read somewhere that the Buddha said: 'if there were a desire stronger than sexual desire, there would be no possibility of Englightenment'. I'm looking for this specific reference, please don't send related quotes, which I have read in other related questions.

Are there any buddhist methods to maintain self control when one is not meditating? I can easily maintain self control while meditating but after meditation in daily life , I am met with choices which breaks self control. I know I am responsible for what I do? But how to change one's perspective when met with such choices? Like I have two choices : one to give effort to my daily job sincerely or second to avoid my responsibility because I believe my work causes me suffering. If I try to supress these desires they become stronger and stronger next time So,this is my problem. Are there any texts that can help me Or any buddhist practices other than meditation that is easy to perform to supress desires of avoiding responsibility?

Sensual desire is the main hindrance of 5 hindrances that limit the positive development of mind. What are the things conductive to the abandonment of sensual desire? What are the things someone can practice to abandonment of sensual desire?

Suppose I suggest that someone else eats meat or steals someone's property: is the karma the same as performing the act? What if I allow them to do so, explicitly or implicitly? Is the karma defined by e.g. what I want the other person to do or what I expect and plan them to do?

I was reflecting on a craving I had for something addictive tonight while going to bed, and realized, "My notion of having 'just a little bit' of this addiction is just my relying on common sense... but common sense is no more common than horseradish is full of horses. Just because most people think, 'just a little' is always OK doesn't necessarily mean it's truly a sober, beneficial, or wise thing to do." In any case, this reminded me of the [Kalama Sutta](https://www.accesstoinsight.org/lib/authors/soma/wheel008.html) , and I wondered what my version of relying falsely on common sense would be: 15. "Therefore, did we say, Kalamas, what was said thus, 'Come Kalamas. Do not go upon what has been acquired by repeated hearing; nor upon tradition; nor upon rumor; nor upon what is in a scripture; nor upon surmise; nor upon an axiom; nor upon specious reasoning; nor upon a bias towards a notion that has been pondered over; nor upon another's seeming ability; nor upon the consideration, "The monk is our teacher." Kalamas, when you yourselves know: "These things are good; these things are not blamable; these things are praised by the wise; undertaken and observed, these things lead to benefit and happiness," enter on and abide in them. My guess is that common sense is a tempting thing to automatically defer to because it can combine every one of the unhelpful methods of inquiry into one. So then if people rely solely on common sense they basically just do whatever they want. Yet, it can sometimes also be the correct way of inquiry listed at the end of the Sutta. Am I correct?

I am not asking about depression or suicidal thoughts but the actual aspiration for this life/human experience to end. So of course the desire for material and immaterial existence (rebirths) are themselves two of the ten fetters. I may be incorrect but I take this as a desire to be reborn in either a material or immaterial form in the form or formless realms, not specifically a desire to be reborn in samsara or a desire to NOT be reborn at all. There is the sutta of the monk who took the knife and was blameless, meaning he did not desire another form/rebirth so the Buddha did not say that his suicide was unvirtue, (I forgot the sutta name and number) which would lead me to assume that the desire to want to die itself is not unvirtuous. So what I am actually asking is if this mindstate, the desire to want this life and human experience to end, is it a mindstate of renunciation, or a mindstate of desire for life/suffering to cease. Realistically the end goal of the dharma is to not be reborn in existence.

I have heard from the Vimalakirti Sutra that Vimalakirti was a householder who drank and visited prostitutes; but he was foremost in wisdom and Buddhist practice?! I heard the Buddha sent monks to him to observe and study under his guidance?! Is this true?! Why would the Buddha do this?!

I, as most addicts do, have a deeply embedded and exaggerated difficulty with desire/aversion. I am only coming to understand the nature of my own ignorance experientially now. It is frightening for me, because the fear of relapse, that aversion, is usually the primary culprit as the potential cause of my relapse. And I always feel on the verge of it. Yet other past factors play in as egoic reference experiences from the past. When I began to observe the inner workings of mind and experience, I began to see that much of my desire/aversion and egoic attachments are automatic. My current short-tempered anger at the smallest things, moods and striving seem programmed. Mindfulness keeps transitioning into a task and an objective, as does meditation. Being and letting be collapses into a means to an end. To avert the life that was and safeguard a desirable future. I have a lot to lose, when my mind is hijacked by craving (in the broader buddhist context.) For someone who came from a life, where the world was continually and habitually deemed good/bad, I should/shouldn't, they should/shouldn't, want/don't want, like/don't like, I wanted to ask for guidance around Beginner's Mind and cultivating equanimity and understanding. To see things as they are, I as I am **now**, and the same in relationship with others. I recognise I am living my life, seeing things as they were, pitted against the purity of what is, on replay in my thoughts, beliefs. Ego overlayed onto a now I feel blinded and jaded to. It has present moments simply feel burdensome to me. Anything that could assist a practice of beginner's mind meditation/mindfulness, cultivating non-judgmental awareness and understanding to 'unknot' a confused mind would mean the world to me. Anything to note/notice on this journey in bringing purity and clarity to my present reality would help me. Thanks so much.

I have run into a mental trap about desire on the Buddhist path. I know desire is good if it is wholesome, ie say desire for enlightenment and etc. Yet what about a desire for the mastery of a skill such as being a musician or artist, and what about wanting in part that mastery for something as a career? The desire to make a enjoyable living seems ok but is it at odds especially if you want it because there is an aversion to other work that one finds disheartening and unfulfilling? Thank you.

I masturbate to avoid having sex with other people. I've masturbated quite a lot. I don't want to have sexual intercourse with anyone else though I love sex. I've been keeping my body away from sexual desire with other men and found masturbation as a good feeling. I've never had any imagination of anyone else or rarely (if it does, it should be a person that I really like or dating with but I just keep desire away from him, again rarely). I also have known that masturbation could prevent sexual assaults. Is this a sin or not?

What exactly is the anatomy of a Desire and why does it have such a potent effect on our psyche and life? Is it a ***thought*** of wanting something we don't have, but then we have so many thoughts about so many things? Is it a ***feeling*** of missing something or something being wrong in the present moment, but then we have so many other feelings? Is it a mental reaction, or ***perception*** of thought and feeling? Is it some mental energy illumined by ***consciousness***? Or is it will want? The Buddha went as far as saying, ***taṇhā*** ("craving, desire or attachment") is the cause of suffering. I want to understand what is this as a phenomenon?

In Bhikkhu Nanamoli's **The Life of the Buddha** when describing the circumstances around his birth, Nanamoli writes > When the Bodhisatta had descended into his mother's womb, no thought > of man associated with the five strands of sensual desires came to her > at all, and she was inaccessible to any man with lustful mind. > > When the Bodhisatta had descended into his mother's womb, she at the > same time possessed the five strands of sensual desires; and being > endowed and furnished with them, she was gratified in them. I understand the first paragraph. And, I assume that by "the five strands of sensual desires" he's referring to the five kāmaguṇa in this answer . The first paragraph seems to be portraying that this was a *virgin* conception (or, if not *virgin*, then it was a pregnancy that did not arise through coitus). However, I don't understand what is actually being said in the second paragraph quoted. Is it merely saying that, in addition to the purity of her being just described, she was herself exceptionally comely? Another aspect of this that confuses me is what is meant by "she was gratified in them"?

I completely understand the second noble truth which says > origin of dukkha, which arises or "comes together" with taṇhā > ("craving, desire or attachment") in plain English, > Desire is the cause of Sorrow. But if one has not renounced and not living as a monk one has needs to maintain the Samsaric existence. As a layperson, you need money for thousands of things, pay the bills, get the wood for the fire to cook, pay for children's education, etc etc. Now I understand that core desire like, "I want more money" will lead to suffering, but you need an intention to become prosperous as time passes, i.e. grow in the samsaric world along with a spiritual goal towards Nirvana. How can one grow without harboring desires? I understand that, the thoughts like, "I want a Ferrari" is a blatant desire, but I do want a decent car to drive few miles to my work. How is this basic necessity dealt with without desiring? How is this situation dealt with in the bounds of Dhamma? I am not talking about attachments to already possessed things, but working towards a prosperous living. After all, Nirvana or not, nobody wants to live in adversity.

In most Buddhist traditions, monks are expected to follow an austere life without being married or involved with another person, but what about lay people who are not going to become monks? Personally, I've reached what most people consider mid-life and I'm getting too old for any monastery to accept me, but I'm sure this question applies to lay people both older and younger. I am under the impression, monks are required to be single because of the attachment and desire that arises when being involved. However, a good number of monks do not live among lay people which I imagine would make it easier. It seems like lay people would benefit though, and when their time on Earth has expired also make it easier to let go. However, I don't have a teacher nor do I have access to one so I wanted to reach out to the community to see what their impressions were. My guess is that it is helpful but a personal choice that differs from individual to individual. I mean 'helpful' in the sense of being closer to Nirvana or Enlightenment.

How is 'Chanda' (Intention) related to 'Tanha' (Desire) ? I often hear that Karma is determined by intention. I want to know how they are all related. What comes first? What gets abandoned in meditation and Nirvana? I know of a YouTuber who claims to have gotten Nirvana, but he said after some time he had to train himself to purposefully generate an intention to talk and explain things to other people. So did he also have a prior desire to help other people? How this three work for Enlightened people and seekers?

Most of our thoughts are caused by desire. So, what are the thoughts of a person who has no desire? Another way of asking the same question: if we remove desire based thoughts, what will remain? Edit: I'm asking this because I want to experience enlightenment. I know I am not enlightened, but If I am enlightened, how would my thoughts be? How would I feel it through awareness?

I fail to understand how this teaching would ever help man become productive. Please help me understand this. Not everyone seeks nirvana and some people want to better the world, not only for themselves but for their family and countrymen. They do so either out of desire to reduce others' suffering or by seeking alleviation for their own sufferings. I've read a lot of self help books which emphasize the need for ***desire*** as such, and faith in oneself to achieve that desire. Is that not how every living being functions - driven by desire? Every business that is built is motivated by a desire. Every material possession is obtained through desire. We can extrapolate that to the spiritual realm by saying that man travels, meditates and watches his thoughts driven by a desire to attain spiritual peace and fullfilment. Thus I ask, how can desire be the enemy? Shouldn't it be greed instead?

What does it mean to "guard the sense doors"? What is the practical application of this concept in daily life? For example, does this concept mean that a heterosexual male should entirely avoid looking at women? Thank you

Today, I have realized that I have lot of expectations about my life and about others. Until today, I didn't aware of it because,today I face a big disappointment.So, Experiences of expectations and hopes breakings are way to understand the nature of expectations. Other than that, What can I do to avoid expectations ?

If there have been donations for technology upgrades... Is it possible for someone to ask an abbott exactly what he wants donated funds to be used for? To ask the what specific items he could use?