At the risk of being overly simplistic, it seems that Mahayana traditions have dedicated their intellectual efforts to developing the idea of **Emptiness (śūnyatā)**, starting from Nagarjuna, through Dogen, and extending to the modern Kyoto School. - As you might notice, these examples are biased towards the Japanese branch, which I'm personally more interested in, but other examples also exist, of course. I was trying to locate medieval or modern Mahayanic systematic discussions of **Upādāna** and **Taṇhā**. I was hoping that these ideas were discussed and interpreted in light of the emptiness idea. However, it seems that they have lost intellectual focus. - If it's indicative of anything, the Wikipedia page for Upādāna says the Japanese is "shu", and the one for Taṇhā says the Japanese is "katsu ai". But I couldn't find any meaningful results using these terms in the context of Buddhism. Are there any notable examples of systemaic discussions of Upādāna and Taṇhā in Mahayana Buddhism (particularly within Japanese traditions)?

This question may seem a little new age. I am often discouraged in my life in general by the belief that I want more, nothing specific, but something is missing, perhaps a more meaningful life. Could this be attachment or thirst for an abstract idea? Can we be attached to the objects of the 6th consciousness? It's not obviously causing me to suffer physically or psychologically, perhaps in a subtle way, and it may be the suffering of change as it manifests to the 6th consciousness and its attachments. Any ideas? FTR I ***definitely don't blame*** - Buddhist - religion for that, even having had religious psychosis. It is just the mundane sense that my past is a disappointment and there's nothing I can do to shift my future into something better than that.

I'm facing a dilemma. There are 2 cats that often come nearby my house. One is the mother (who happened to come to my house even before I fed it) and the other a kitten that was born also nearby my house. I think the mother might have been abandoned by previous owner because she was comfy with humans. At first the mother was skinny and had infection. I helped her by feeding whenever she comes and buy medications from vets to treat her skin and cough. Now she's healthy. The kitten is also well fed because I helped it since it was a little. However because of my actions, both have a dependency towards me. Sometimes they ask for attention, which I give from time to time. On top of it, the mother cat keeps getting pregnant, which led to my neighbor who don't want their kids to play with kittens, throwing away the kittens. I think some of the kittens might have been dead too without me knowing it. I have very little control about this because the cats are always outside and anyone can do whatever they want. I don't bring them in or keeping them as a pet, because I don't think a Buddhist should keep pets. Which brings me to these questions: 1. Am I wrong for feeding these cats? my heart tells me to feed hungry animals if possible but of course not everyone sees strays as animals that need help. By feeding I also invite them to stay around my house (being more dependent on me and causing annoyance for the neighbor) 2. Am I wrong for thinking Buddhist aren't allowed to keep pets? 3. Since stray cats usually breed a lot. Should I neuter the mother cat? my hope is so that there will be no more kittens thrown away from their mother not long after birth, or to experience suffering. Is it wrong to neuter animals? Answers to these questions will help me decide on what to do next. Thank you. Namo Buddhaya.

Can one elaborate please more on this quote: > "In one who keeps focusing on the allure of clingable phenomena (or: phenomena that offer sustenance = the five aggregates), craving develops. > > "Now, in one who keeps focusing on the drawbacks of clingable phenomena, craving ceases." Upādāna Sutta SN 12.52 (S ii 84) How is this exactly done?

Before I ask this question let me tell that I know that attachment in Buddhism is very different from the one in psychology. Also, I understand that attachment in psychology is just aversion or craving for certain situations/feelings/experiences etc. That being said, I was wondering if anyone has successfully overcome anxious attachment (or knows how to)? I ask here because if I ask anywhere else I would get the standard response "it's something that you live with for all your life and it's something very deeply rooted, which cannot be overcome. So you should get better in learning to live with it." I understand the broad psychology etc. so please emphasize on any specific exercises and insights that have helped you. Feel free to add any other relevant info. Thanks

Do Arahants or Buddhas still enjoy music they liked as lay people? Can anyone share their thoughts on why enlightened beings would or would not enjoy the music they used to listen to when they were laypeople? What if the lyrics contained defiled language but the music was appreciated before the process of enlightenment? What can we learn from the appreciation or lack of appreciation that an enlightened being has for music? If the lyrics contain defiled language, would an enlightened one wish to consider the impact it may have on their mind, could there be an impact and if so what is that impact? Can enlightened beings appreciate music without clinging to the music? What if the music and lyrics were in harmony with the Dhamma?

I recently listened to a talk by Ajahn Chah, in which he mentions (@ ~14:20-14:53) that wisdom is found when one clings to neither pleasure nor displeasure. This really created a dilemma in my head about why to practice. Clearly, it makes sense that one would not want to cling to displeasure. Indeed, it seems a Buddhist practitioner can get quite far one this idea alone. It seems natural that the whole reason one begins the path is to learn to not cling to displeasure. Learning to let go of what is bothersome to you is easier, as Ajahn Chah says. I don't believe many people start on the path to also not cling to happiness. Even Ajahn Chah states that those who truly practice also learn to not cling to happiness. **How this can be done in the layman's world?** I cannot quite understand why one would want to reject clinging to pleasurable feelings. It seems our very survival as humans is based around our brain giving us pleasurable feelings to reinforce behaviors that keep us surviving. I.e. eating sweet food gives dopamine because it correlates (not necessarily entails) with us sustaining our survival. **If I decide to do something purely for pleasure, does that mean that I have clung to that pleasure?** I.e. I took a bath tonight for the reason of enjoying it and I did enjoy it. Does that entail that I've clung to the pleasure since my purpose for taking the bath was for pleasure? How would I know if I've clung to it? At least in my life, my whole idea of having my career is based on the fact that it makes me happy and it's what I want to do (I do it for the purpose of pleasure). **Why would I reject this?** And if so, how could I even do so without becoming a monk and dedicating my life only to the goal of rejection of both pleasure and displeasure while only caring for my basic needs of survival (food, clothing, shelter, sleep). **In a paradoxical sense, it even seems plausible that one's reasoning for becoming a monk would be for the pleasure one derives in the idea of working toward enlightenment.** **If not for the pleasure resulting from a task (or subsequent result), why would one do it?** Tangentially, it seems the quickest way to end both pleasure and displeasure would be suicide. I'm not suicidal myself, but I just ask in a theoretical sense. Why would one not just do this? I presume the answer is related in some way to rebirth, but I am not sure.

Here is the movie: [Spring Summer Fall Winter and Spring 2003](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=H1GG6o-hPEA) The plot is that the student having attachment to a woman, leave the temple and marries her. Years fly by, and the student returns because he kills her, after her affair. The master helps him to let the anger out before being caught by the police, and then he immolates himself. After that, he leaves some [śarīra](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/%C5%9Aar%C4%ABra) . My question is: why would the master cries before the immolation? (source: [i2.wp.com](https://i2.wp.com/macguff.in/wp-content/uploads/2019/07/Spring-Summer-Fall-Winter-And-Spring-Movie-Still-3.jpg)) My answer is that he disappoints with the student. But isn't that disappointment an attachment?

How do I know whether I am attached to certain things or not? Examples: 1. When we are attached to a taste, we will try to find more & more tasty foods. We can reduce that by getting a simple meal, cutting the extra meals or only taking 2 meals per day like monks. 2. When we are attached to clothes, we are trying to buy the latest/expensive clothes. We can reduce that desire by wearing simple and charming clothes. The questions are, **How do I know** whether I am attached to my career, exam results or not? (Now I am in university. I have to work for exams. Sometimes I feel, I am attached to exam results) If I am, how do I **work without attaching** to it? I read this answer already: [Should I do what I don't want to do?](https://buddhism.stackexchange.com/q/25669/17744)

I am writing an essay on Buddhist nonattachment, in which I argue that nonattachment is compatible with a wide range of affective states and intimate relationships (contra some popular philosophical conceptions, which are greatly influenced by Stoicism). The account of Buddhist nonattachment I offer stresses an attitude of open-minded acceptance of whatever mental state arises, without attraction or aversion -- without indulging or suppressing it. In more than one place I have heard mention of a sutta in which the Buddha describes his mental states and attitudes when he teaches the Dhamma, and his audience either understands or fails to understand. From what I've heard, he says something along the lines that he is pleased when people understand the Dhamma and displeased when they do not; however, his is not overcome by those mental states. This is not a direct quote, only the impression left in my memory. Does this sound familiar? Can anyone help me find this sutta?

Almost twenty years ago I did a meditation on death that catapulted me into a Near Death Experience the likes of which I could not even have imagined possible. This 'mini enlightenment' allowed me to let go of some but not all attachments. Over the years, I have tried (in vain) to recreate that experience via the same method and by trying other techniques from a variety of traditions. But since I did not get results and living in a world of phenomena competing for my attention I ceased seeking after 15 years. Recently however it occurred to me that there might be some resource out there, such as a book, that lists all of the techniques developed by the monastic tradition within buddhism, and that I might profit from systematically trying all of them that I am able to. I'm aware that it is folly to seek such experiences as ends in themselves. Does such a book exist?

**What is craving for fame in Buddhism?** I am aware that fame pertains to the eight worldly concerns and is detrimental. However I wonder: what *is* fame-seeking in Buddhism? I ask this because when I was younger I would fantasize greatly about fame, especially in link to a great theoretical realization. I still feel that way sometimes. I perceive fame in this case as attachment to a view mixed with self-valuing, but I mostly wonder if one should abandon this and how? How can one acquire equanimity towards this aspiration?

In most Buddhist traditions, monks are expected to follow an austere life without being married or involved with another person, but what about lay people who are not going to become monks? Personally, I've reached what most people consider mid-life and I'm getting too old for any monastery to accept me, but I'm sure this question applies to lay people both older and younger. I am under the impression, monks are required to be single because of the attachment and desire that arises when being involved. However, a good number of monks do not live among lay people which I imagine would make it easier. It seems like lay people would benefit though, and when their time on Earth has expired also make it easier to let go. However, I don't have a teacher nor do I have access to one so I wanted to reach out to the community to see what their impressions were. My guess is that it is helpful but a personal choice that differs from individual to individual. I mean 'helpful' in the sense of being closer to Nirvana or Enlightenment.

For at least half of my life I've had an extremely strong desire to be in a relationship/have a girlfriend and though I've tried, I've been unsuccessful and this has brought me tremendous suffering to the point where I almost committed suicide 2 years ago. I see couples in a similar age group as me every single day and this further increases my suffering. I first encountered Buddhism 2 years ago and through its teachings I've detached myself from the past and have removed my strong desire for material wealth and this indeed has removed a lot of suffering from my life, however, I just can't seem to let go of immense desire to have a girlfriend even after realizing that external circumstances never bring lasting happiness and fulfillment. How can I let go of this destructive desire?

My parents were physically and mentally abusive to me as a child. As an adult, they have never recognized what they have done to me and even try to guilt me into having a relationship with them that I do not want. I practice often, but I can’t make myself feel a forgiveness that I do not feel at this time. In the buddhist view, am I wrong if I choose not to have a relationship with them?

Ever since I was a child I was very look concious. I took pride from my looks and took shame from them as well. I'm at a point where my sense of worth is mainly derived from such an unstable, diminishing and limited resource and this inconsistency is causing me a lot of suffering. How to lose identification with my body?

I broke up with my girlfriend a couple of years ago. We haven't talked to each other since then. A few months back we met at a job interview. We spoke to each other and she was very friendly. I thought she is no longer mad at me. Few days ago I came to know that we both got the job. I texted her to congratulate. She has seen it but hasn't replied. Now I can't stop checking my messages on the phone to see if she has replied. I know this is fixation but just don't know how to deal with it. What could be a way out of this?

My partner has an active interest in Buddhism and I have been confused about his state of mind for two years. Kindly help us out. The past two years have been a depression time for my family and myself and I'm coping with it with the help of God and only God. This person has had loads of problems in his life. He stayed in a bad marriage for years before leaving. He had a high profile job which he quit and moved back to his home town. Just after moving back he was diagnosed with Non-Hogdkins lymphoma and underwent surgery and five rounds of chemotherapy. He has never been well since he has gone back home. We entered into a relationship nearly two years ago and I frequently seen his wrath, anger, jealousy and many more problems which I can only attribute to his traumatic history. He has never been able to get back into a job. He used to be interested in a vast array of things from photography to painting and since three years he finds nothing interesting. He has stopped talking with all his friends because he says that they "don't understand" him. He has pretty much locked himself in his house under the pretext that he has to "take care of his old parents". During his chemotherapy he told me he was suicidal which he vehemently denies now. I tried to help him as much as I could. I have approached one of his gurus for help. I tried getting to get him to see a Buddhist psychotherapist. He has refused help. The reason he refuses help is because he says he is on the verge of enlightenment and that normal therapists cannot do anything to help him. He says he frequently speaks to God but when I say I speak to God too he rejects it outright. He has weight issues because he binge eats when he is depressed. He keeps imagining he has liver diseases, coeliac disease or cancer relapse symptoms. Each time the tests come out negative and his doctors constantly tell him he will not have a relapse. He says he's conquered all fear and anger and negativity but I have seen first hand his massive anger issues. He has deep resentment against his parents and there has not been one day that he has not complained about them. He says he has deep anger issues against his father who he says was not good to his mother when he was in the womb or because of past life karma. He openly told his parents one day that they should not have even given birth to him. He says he feels love and compassion for everyone and then he made the statement "attachment is for idiots". My parents too have tried to support him. They have been nice to him until they lost their cool too about him just sitting at home being depressed and not doing anything about it. He then accused my father of abusing him and calling him names. My parents have yelled at him, yes but they are not the kind to ever call anyone names. He's had issues against my past relationships which caused a major rift between us for a major portion of the last two years. He got extremely jealous and even now he says he finds it difficult to be intimate with me because he has images of other men with me. He says the cancer has not affected him, his past relationship has not caused him trauma and it was meditation that guided him to not have mental issues. He frequently compares himself to other cancer patients and how their mental states were affected during their treatment. He almost gloats about it without seeing that he too is mentally unwell. Another day he said that the reason he pushes me away is because he has lost so many things in life - a marriage, a career, good health even though he worked hard for it that he is scared of losing this too. He says that being detached like this is his way of not feeling any more pain. Each time I try to help him he accuses me of being unkind to him and trying to change the way he is. Today he mentioned that he is worthless and when I asked him persistently to talk to God and tell God why he felt worthless he called the cops on me and tried to have me attested. He denies that he is depressed but every person I have spoken to tells me that he shows clear signs of depression. I have spoken to at least three therapists about him and even they agree that he is depressed. My questions are: 1. Is this behaviour justified for a person who is on the verge of enlightenment? 2. Does non attachment mean giving up things you love? 3. Is attachment for idiots? 4. It the fear of losing things you love the right reason for being non attached? 5. Does non attachment mean having a strong sense of detest for modern life like malls, the cinema etc? 6. Does non attachment mean you have to stop talking with your friends who are different from you?

How does one let go of something the other person involved won't acknowledge? I don't mean the niceties of the other person's behaviour, the ins and outs and whys. Merely, that the other person - I think - nihilistically won't finish up. So e.g. your lover leaves you without even leaving a note. Or your friend pretends not to know you, with no explanation. Or your family changes the locks and won't answer the door when you visit.

Subject refers, any short good answer here with an article supports? This is for in case somebody asks me this?