The post here specifically refers to introducing Buddhism to a child as well as meditation and recitals. I want to introduce concepts such as "clinging", "letting go", "intent", "self", "no-self" and the like. Being surrounded by children under the age of 4, I observe that certain behaviors are starting to take root e.g. clinging. If a particular toy is lost or not available, the child senses a deep loss which results in emotional and physical distress. The kids also identify with themselves with the things they are surrounded by e.g. friends, physical objects, etc

My mother and I come from a non-Buddhist culture/background/society/country/family. At one point when I had an opportunity to explain to her what Buddhism is, I was doing well (i.e. she was listening and accepting what I was saying) when I was explaining that Buddhism includes a non-fixed identity-view and explaining why a non-fixed identity view is skillful (e.g. because an attitude such as attachment to your job/profession might be unpleasant when you retire, and because people's abilities and health change with age). But then what I mentioned the first Noble Truth she seemed to object, saying "Sorry you think life is suffering/dissatisfaction, I don't agree: I like life, I think life is good." --- So - Do you ever try to explain Buddhism to someone who barely knows the first thing about it, and if so what is your strategy for how to explain it? - Do you explain 'dukkha' using the classic 'death/poverty/illness/old age', and/or is there a better way to explain the first noble Truth? - Are there any alternate way to introduce Buddhism which don't begin with the first Noble Truth? - Might it be better to explain what I think Buddhism might mean to me (why it appeals to me) personally? I fear that might make it less strange to her ("yes I see why you like it") but at the same time less acceptable ("but it isn't for me because I'm not like you"). - Should I understand that if that's her reaction it's because she's already doing a lot of things right (e.g. not spending her life feeling angry)?

In Buddhism having a rebirth is itself a origin of all the Dukhhas. Doesn't it imply that Buddhist laymen who are married should not have children to stop this cycle of rebirth. This leads to a more generic hypothetical question as to what happens if all people in the world stop having children? I would like to have the answer in the Buddhist perspective.

I come from a culture where marriage is seen as a must. Both of my parents are good parents, they never harm me in anyway, took a very good care of me. I am now almost 30 and they really want me to get married and have a kid, they love children. I can't blame them because it's all they've ever known in their life -- once you become an adult, marriage and having a kid is a must. I am also the first child and have always been single in all my life. However I don't see marriage as a necessity. I'm not very interested in sex nor having a kid. In my mind, I just want to live a single life so I can achieve financial freedom faster (no kids and wife) then I will donate to charities and spend my time doing things I enjoy instead of always chasing more money (it's tiring), I want to do more charity work than working for money. I take care of my parents but to take care a wife and kids I'm not very interested. Let's be realistic... kids are not cheap. What's the Buddhism view on this..? am I egotistical?

I'm in the process of organising a family day at my Local Buddhist Centre. I'll be taking my 4-year-old daughter with me and she will once again ask me who is the Buddha? Previously I have always given really weak answers such as 'he was a very nice man who lived a long time ago'. Not very satisfying to anyone. So what would be an age appropriate way to describe who the Buddha is? I want the description to be accurate and accessible to her. Obviously the more complete the better but realistically things are going to be left out. Also I don't want to slip into using Christian type words for Buddhist concepts - for instance not using heaven for nirvana, church for sangha etc... So what would be a good way to describe who the Buddha is to her. I'll be honest I think I want a Dr Phil script of the month type answer for this. Many Thanks for all/any help on this one.

I have seen that in Buddhist as well as Hindu traditions, parents are considered as benevolent beings who should be venerated and put in a pedestal. Stories, verses, and myths about praises for parents are plenty. However, toxic parenting must have been present in the past and surely there could be something about evil parents in some Buddhist teaching? Consider parents who are narcissist, control-freaks, irresponsible, or just plain unqualified to raise kids in a healthy manner. Parents who treat their children as their possessions and not independent beings should not receive the same praises, should they? There are enough parents who constantly put down and actively try to harm their own children. How could one say that such parents are saintly beings? How does the act of being a parent by simply giving birth and doing the bare minimum that everyone does makes someone a noble person? Almost everybody in the world would be noble by that definition. Don't children who had bad parenting deserve more compassion and respect? Could someone point me to Buddhist stories and teachings, and mantras/verses talking about the evils of megalomaniac and narcissist individuals who are terrible parents? ---------- Related posts: 1. Relationship with bad parents (kamma and issues) 1. How should a Buddhist approach honoring parents who abused them? 1. Must I continue a relationship with my abusive parents? 1. I want to leave my mother 1. What does Buddhism teach about abusive parents? 1. Not listening to parents is bad karma? 1. I need an answer as to why i received a mother who makes me feel like an outcaste? 1. What did Buddha say about dysfunctional families for novice practitioners?

One of the main sources of bad kamma in Buddhism is doing wrong to your parents and not taking care of them. Buddha said it is very very hard to repay your parents, however how should one behave if he or she has bad parents? Maybe a parent that was an alcoholic or didn't take care of him properly, abandoned him, banned from his house or maybe stole from him? There are countless possibilities, what to do?

The question aims towards to creating a new life and not to the desire from which said life is concived. Other way of this question would be: the act of giving a life which can be seen as a being with it's own karma, creates more karma to one self? Has the buddha ever talked about this?

As a Buddhist, I believe devotion to mothers is very important if we want to have a good life. Since I was child I followed my mother's instructions until I became an adult. This included getting married and having a child. Now that I'm an adult, I think I need to become more independent, and to make my own decisions, both for myself and my son. However, my mother is very upset and thinks I’m arrogant because I’m no longer follow her rules. Am I wrong if I create my own rules for my life? Am I a very bad daughter?

I had a dilemma for a long time and I need your help please. I’m from India, 29 years and belong to a conventional Indian family, staying with my parents. Since last 4 years, I have wished to renounce my conventional life and go somewhere to meditate deeply (vipassana meditation). Its a calling, a constant calling. Two years back I told my parents but they were shattered to hear this, they were shocked and broken. Since then I quietly resumed my life. They are also concerned about their future, as they are not fully financially independent and may need my help, but it’s not like if I renounce, they cannot manage, they can definitely manage by cutting a few corners, they can live without my financial help, they have that much savings. I have been contributing to the house expenses heavily, almost all my salary so that their savings remain intact. Its like they have enough to live for another 10 years, but what after that if I’m not there. It’s very tricky. They are concerned about their old age and future. My parents are both in 60s. Every now and then I deeply wish to renounce and pursue deep meditation. I get confused, is my role to serve them by being there by keeping them financially secure and being there for them in their old age, but this is not contributing to their mind at all, or is my role to uncover wisdom within so that I can inspire them to do the same for their own self. Should I be there for them in the next few years and once they are no more, then pursue my meditation or should I renounce right now, and walk the path of wisdom so that I can inspire them to believe in and uncover the wisdom inside themselves? Its an either / or situation. Either I keep them comfortable in conventional life, and let them move to their next life, or should I challenge myself right now so that even they can challenge themselves spiritually. (they are not that inclined towards spiritual progress) What is my role as a son? This is a constant dilemma every day of my life for last many years. I am neither here nor there. I can’t fully function in the conventional life also because of this. Which way should I go, or is there any middle way? Please help me. Kind and humble request. Thank you.

Being married, I have of late been coming across the dilemma of whether to have a child or not and if yes, if a biological child or not (which by itself may be another question which I may ask separately). So, when I ponder on the subject, I get the thought if it may be more meaningful to adopt an orphaned child instead of having a biological child. But again, although at the surface adoption appears to be an altruistic and more meaningful thought, if I think deeper, I really wonder if the desires as a result of which I would want to have a biological child (and which I want to avoid) are pretty much the same as those which want me to adopt one. Additionally, adopting a child has its own administrative and emotional complications, which may result in unhappy experiences and which may therefore defeat the entire purpose. So, I thought it may help me build a perspective on the subject, if I come to know what is the opinion on child adoption with regard to the Buddha's teachings. So, my questions are:- 1. Is there any mention of the merits/ demrits of adoption in the Tipitika or any other Buddhist writings? 2. Is there any incident from during the life of the Buddha in which child adoption was involved? 3. Would it help to strengthen one's ethics by adopting a child? 4. How can we compare or weigh the merits of dana to several orphan children vs adopting and nurturing one?

I hope you are all well. I have been studying Buddhism for a few months and I am very grateful for the teachings. I've visited this website frequently for similar questions and this is the first time I am reaching out to this community. Since bringing Buddhist practices into my life, my relationships have improved, especially with my mother. However, I am finding it difficult to navigate what would be the most helpful or skilful actions for myself and my mother during the suffering she is experiencing at the moment. A bit of background on my mother: she has narcissistic tendencies and since my childhood, has leaned on my siblings and I for her emotional needs especially in times of suffering. I am now 20 years old and the relationship we share I feel is much healthier than even a year ago, as I struggled to understand my own suffering and suffering of others before I began studying Buddhism. My mother is in the midst of a break up with her ex-fiancé and I am the only one she has shared this with in our family unit (I live with her and my younger sibling who is 17 years old). While sharing with me her feelings about this and having my shoulder to lean on, she began sharing things she dislikes about my father and his family (ex-fiancé and my father are different people). I understand the importance of boundaries and I am not sure how to lend a compassionate ear for her during this time while communicating that I cannot be a therapist for her. I recognise that everyone is in care of their own suffering and that it is not your responsibility to alleviate the suffering of someone else, only they can do that. I would like to share compassion with her in a healthy way for both of us as our past had no boundaries, and I had felt that her emotions were my responsibility. In other words, I want to do what I can to support her during her suffering in the most healthy and skilful way for both of us. How would one go about this? I appreciate all comments and advice and I'm happy to go into more detail if you would like. Thanks for reading.

Consider these two texts: * https://www.accesstoinsight.org/tipitaka/kn/iti/iti.4.100-112.than.html the part that contains: > Mother & father, compassionate to their family, are called Brahma, first teachers, those worthy of gifts from their children. So the wise should pay them homage, honor with food & drink clothing & bedding anointing & bathing & washing their feet. Performing these services to their parents, the wise are praised right here and after death rejoice in heaven. * https://www.accesstoinsight.org/tipitaka/an/an02/an02.031.than.html > But anyone who rouses his unbelieving mother & father, settles & establishes them in conviction; rouses his unvirtuous mother & father, settles & establishes them in virtue; rouses his stingy mother & father, settles & establishes them in generosity; rouses his foolish mother & father, settles & establishes them in discernment: To this extent one pays & repays one's mother & father. What is are the appropriate ways to combine the meaning/purpose of these, considering that there is some potential to misunderstand the way these two guide us to treat our parents?

I want to become a monk in the Theravada tradition and have already obtained permission from my mother. My father does not live with us and never has, so according to the following passage from the Vinaya Atthakathā, I shouldn't need his permission: > A father, not concerned for the welfare of his wife and son, runs > away. The mother gives her son to some monks, saying, “Let him go > forth.” When asked, “Where has his father gone?” she replies, “He has > run away to disport himself.” — It is suitable for him [the son] to be > given the going forth. However, I am still not sure since in his case it isn't that simple. Although my dad moved to another country, he continued to fully financially support us in the first years of my life and paid for all my school costs up to 12th grade. As far as I know, he initially had the intention to bring us over to live with him, but it seems my mom refused. Even then, he continues to visit me every year or so, and we talk on the phone quite often. One could argue that he did, in a sense, leave me, since he could have well come back and at least live closer to me, even if he had split with my mom, but I still have mixed feelings. The reason I ask is that I know he will not agree with my ordination, since he's quite focused on money and material things, and expects me to become accomplished in those areas. He is also quite unskillful in his behavior and conducts himself pretty much opposite to the Noble Eightfold Path.

thank you for reading this. my mother was born in a very large family. there were 10 girls, and 7 boys. There have always been feuds among the girls. Every holiday season was a mine field of whom was speaking to whom. Now they are older, but the feuds continue. My mother is now 85, her sister (who is my god-mother and whom I love very much) is near to 90. Currently my mother and god-mother are no longer speaking. I am "forced" not to have contact with my god-mother out of deference to my mother. There are others whom I cannot see for the same reason. I love all of them and suffer their absence. I know they will someday die (as will I), I would like to enjoy the remaining years. is there a way to see light in this darkness ? Is there something I can do ? thank you for your help, I am humbled by your collective generosity towards the struggles of strangers. -------------------------------- in answer to the answer from Yeshe Tenley, the question of force. thank you for pointing to it. When I say I was "forced" I mean that I was pressured when I tried to not do this. I tried initially to ignore my mother's desire to have me on her side/team in the feud and I ignored it. When she became more aggressive and threatened me, I ignored it and continued to see my god-mother. My mother's response was to slander my god-mother and to cost her relationships with her other siblings and other members of the family. Several people whom my god-mother supported in the darkest days of their lives (through cancer treatments, the loss of children, and many other troubles) were told lies by my mother and believed them. This was done to punish me. My mother knew she could not take anything from me she had not already taken, but she knew it would hurt me if she hurt others. The "force" came from this, it was extortion/blackmail. The only thing I could do is see neither of them for many years. I have a sense that the time to resolve this is now, otherwise mortality will close the doors. I am unsure there is a solution.

My question is about supreme peace that is received from renunciation. When people renounce a major portion of their possession and title, they are believed to get supreme peace. Where I can get a detailed discussion about renunciation and a little logical discussion too that makes a person renounce? The ASIAN continent is filled with Buddhist, and Muslim countries. Many users of Buddhist countries can sufficiently address my concern. my concern is the risk associated with renunciation.

This is something that I keep hearing from my grandmother that annoys me so much. Although I am of age (26 to be precise), I am still expected to listen to almost every word that my parents say (at least according to my grandmother). Not to bring personal matters to the site, but I keep arguing that not listening to parents should not be considered ill-treatment of them. They expect me to wear nice clothes, but I don't. (I prefer wearing the same clothes. Who has time for fashion?) They expect me to marry the one they want. They always say that as a Buddhist I should be very obedient. These days when you turn on the TV to listen to some Buddhist advice, monks most of the time talk about parent-child relationships and go on about how children should always listen to their parents. I am not saying my parents ask me to do anything bad, but as children we know (sometimes, not always) what is best for us. But when we do what we want all hell breaks loose. Daddy shouting, Mommy crying, and Granny shouting that my bad karma will eventually give me disobedient children just like me. Jokes aside, I want a serious explanation when it comes to parent-child relationships. I am quite aware of the Sigalovada Sutra, but when we do something we want and parents get hurt, is it always bad kamma? It can't be, right? Otherwise the amount of bad karma Prince Siddhartha would have gained after all the pain his father went through... Please share your thoughts.

I'm listening to a lecture series about child development and in the first lecture it advocates teaching children martial arts as an aid to enhancing their self-control. I would quite like my daughter to learn a martial art (if she wants to). However I feel a bit conflicted about it as surely the lessons themselves are learning how to assault people or at the very least engage in potentially violent behaviour. Is it justifiable for a Buddhist to learn or advocate the learning of a martial art? I appreciate that there is a cultural connection between martial arts and Buddhism in some cultures? How are the ethics of it dealt with? Generally how can I take my daughter off to a Buddhist family retreat one week then whisk her off to learn how to attack people the next? That seems inherently conflicted? Is it?

Specifically with my mother. I talk with her on the phone and when we have already talked for a while, say half an hour, she keeps talking and bringing new pointless futile topics and expanding on them, which annoys me and sometimes I end up getting angry, and sometimes I manifest that anger getting "cutting" or being a little rude. She can talk for an hour or more until she has something to do. I don't tell her to stop because I'm this way and I expect her to realize we have already talked about the main topics and important stuff and a little bit more but she doesn't and keeps going for what I perceive to be too long. I always feel really bad afterwards because of my unreasonable anger and irritation and the inability to deal with this, and when I get too rude most of the times I call her again and apologize. It frustrates me even more because most of the time I'm not really doing anything better than talking with her, but I can't help but get annoyed when she starts to talk for too long about basically nothing, something that we will both probably forget in a short time. And it's not like we talk once a month, we usually talk multiple times a week. We never talk so much even in person. I love my mother, she is not perfect, but I really don't want to get angry with her but I can't avoid it sometimes and I don't know what to do about it. I don't want to ask her to not to talk too much to me because I think that would sound like an entitled kid, and if I cut her random talk I would feel like I'm not being patient enough with her, but I end up getting angry doing that. And now that I think about it I think I have a tendency of getting angry with her like a stupid brat, I'm not sure why. I would really appreciate any advice on how I can talk to my mother without getting angry?

I am a business woman and my job is stressful. It is entirely motivated by greed. I want to leave my career but I have a dream to help poor people in my country and also to make my parents proud of me. Could anyone please tell me what kind of career is compatible with Buddhism?