I'm a bit confused. I had a rather crappy childhood. Very disfunctional family and lots of bullying and abuse both at home and at school. It kind of made me very distrusting of people. I learnt at a young age that people would hurt me, let me down, abandon me and could not be trusted. Many people seemed to not like me for no particular reason other than that I was not a stereotype of how a boy should be in the culture in which I grew up. It really knocked any confidence out of me and I ended up hanging out with other misfits, fell into the wrong crowd and had a drug habit for many years from my teens to my late 20s. I had a string of failed disfunctional relationships and seemed to have an inability to form healthy supportive ones not only on an intimate level but also friendships. I eventually met someone who stuck around for longer but they left in the end which really broke my heart. Half way through that relationship I started practicing insight meditation the kind that Joseph Goldstein and others of that ilk teach. Its been approx 7 years now I think. So anyway I thought that buddhism might help me to be a happier person, more compassionate, more kind, more accepting etc but the truth is I don't feel any of those things. I'm actually a recluse now at 50 years old as I cannot tolerate most people. I've cut out any friends I had and I can't stand my family at all. My niece is getting married but I'm not even going because I don't want to be around people and all the crap that is involved. I'm actually very lonely and think about how nice it will be to die sometimes. I hate my work because I feel im capable of so much more but because of my lack of confidence and self belief I don't try to do something else. I have been this way for so long that it's virtually impossible to get any decent work now because I have this really sketchy work history and people don't give me a go and so I never can get anywhere financially. No money, no friends and hate my family. So what is the point really in continuing on. It's all just this never ending uphill struggle and I'm sick of it. What im confused about is how I can appreciate the teachings of Buddha and practice meditation but at the same time be this miserable lonely misanthropic person. I realise I have created these conditions but they are the result of my reactions towards people and how I felt and still feel so unsafe because of abuse etc. I have lived with maladaptive coping mechanisms that have protected me on the one hand but ruined my life on the other. I wish I could leave the city and live on some beautiful land somewhere surrounded by nature but it's not possible because of money. I feel like a caged animal just waiting for my time to end. I do have some nice calm moments and feelings during sitting sometimes but I don't feel free. I don't even want to practice metta etc because I just don't like people. Only being honest. I feel completely different about animals. I love animals and feel very kind and compassionate towards them but people just annoy me with their egotism, vanity, superficiality, stupidness, ignorance, need I go on. So my question is how can I utilise buddhism and meditation to effect some real positive change because so far it's not working. I seem to be getting worse.

Once, when I went to a Buddhist meditation center, an experienced meditator said: "Sometimes, for meditation, all it takes is five minutes [in a session]." I'm wondering what is the meaning of such a statement. **Does this refer to relaxation? Insight? Or something else? What is the most plausible meaning?**

I heard that the monk candidates outside of Sri Lanka have to make two trips to Sri Lanka in order to get an extended visa. I would prefer just making one trip to Sri Lanka(in the future) being enough to get an extended visa to be able to ordain as a monk. Is there a special way that don't require the foreigner monk candidates to make two trips to Sri Lanka? Note: I would like to ask the same question for the foreigner monk candidates in Thailand but I heard that they don't accept foreigners to be monk there anymore. If anyone has any informations about the foreigner monk situation in Thailand I would be glad If they inform me.

Is there any meaning given to dreams of the Buddha? For example is it considered an omen a sign or meaningless ...? EDIT: Sorry i have to change the edit back to the Buddha instead of Bodhisattva.My question is about someone dreaming of The Buddha.As in **Buddha,the fully enlightened** being.Not a Bodhisattva.Not a dream about Sidhattha.But a dream of the Buddha. My question is,Is there any meaning given to dreams of the Buddha in Buddhism.For example if you dreamt of The Buddha would it be considered an omen,a sign or meaningless. Thank you

In the discourse on the four Divine Abodes, what is meant by "... no limiting action remains there, none persists there." > Here a bhikkhu abides pervading one quarter with a mind imbued with > benevolence, likewise the second, likewise the third, likewise the > fourth; so above, below, around, and everywhere, and to all as to > himself, he abides pervading the all-encompassing world with a mind > imbued with benevolence, abundant, exalted, immeasurable, without > hostility, and without ill will. When the deliverance of mind by > benevolence is developed in this way, **no limiting action remains > there, none persists there**.... http://obo.genaud.net/dhammatalk/bd_dhammatalk/dhamma_talk/subhasutta.htm MN 99

As per the Wikipedia article "Arhat" : > In Theravada Buddhism, an **_Arhat_** [...] is a "perfected person" who has attained _nirvana_. And I saw somewhere that one is not allowed to say one is an Arhat. So my question is: how do you identify a person/monk who has achieved Arhatship?

I just don't understand how morally good actions, can reliably change the state of mind positively over time, in the case where the mind state is negative. For example, let's say there was a hypothetical girl who wanted to purify her mind, but was always agitated, resentful and frustrated. How would practicing the five precepts, make her calm and peaceful?

Is there any benefit to, as far as is humanly possible, total dedication to the precepts, in zen? So total celibacy, vegetarianism and non violence to any life form, complete abstinence form alcohol, etc.. For the laity without a zen master.

I don't meditate often, and I've never had an experience like the following while meditating, but I feel that the following experience probably has a proper name in Buddhism (or Hinduism for that matter). A few days ago, I woke up to a horrible bout of depressive thoughts (deep depression being something I have been struggling with for almost as long as I can remember). I have gotten better at combating it recently, but this particular time, after the storm of bad thoughts had been beaten back, I had this feeling that my awareness somehow expanded. I felt as thought I could see my emotions and opinions and thoughts pass in front of me, almost like I was standing in the middle of a carousel with different lenses passing in front of me, those "lenses" being my notions and emotions through which I viewed the world; it was as if I had somehow "stepped back" 15 or so feet to view from a more removed vantage point. I noticed that my ability to "manage" my emotions went through the roof, and I was much, much happier all day. I also noticed that it was hard for me to say words that I felt were untruthful, or to say things I didn't know were true or not, as I could feel in my stomach whether they were truthful or not. I also (weirdly) felt as if I could tell when others said something they didn't actually believe, or if they were lying. I felt as if most "talk" was mainly chatter, not in a condescending sense, but more in a "not worth it" sense. I felt as if many things I used to take stock in just became... *flat*, totally uninteresting. I felt this state until I went to bed that night. But now, a few days later, I'm back to the way I was (as far as I can tell) and I also had a depressive bout as well (I'm guessing somehow brought on in part by this experience). The things that didn't matter that day, the opinions and expectations of others, their ideologies and so on, suddenly popped back up, are no longer "flat" so to speak, and are "real" again -- though not as "real" to me as they had been previously. Is there a proper name for this state of consciousness?

I recently read an answer on here referencing a sutra that states "animal arts" such as performing any form of divination constitutes wrong livelihood which should be abstained from. What I'm wondering is which of these possible interpretations is most correct: 1. Only monks need to abstain from engaging in these activities, and laypeople can do as they will. 2. Laypeople should also abstain from engaging in these activities to make money, but using them for fun / as a pastime is fine. 3. Everyone should abstain from these activities, regardless of any other factors. Or is there another interpretation altogether?

Although I find this topic interesting, I wonder if study of it, e.g., the various worlds and universes and the beings that inhabit them, what they did to get there, where they go once they leave there, etc, is part of developing the eightfold path? All of the details can overwhelm me and lead toward doubt, so I recently found myself asking if that information is necessary for right view.

Growing up in a conservative family, I saw my community elders choose a good day for events or celebrations. Including, a good day to travel, a good day to start a business, a good day for haircut and much more. Do they adopt animism? Or is it related to Buddhism?

If somebody does sin or bad karma, harms other living beings, but that person doesn't believe in karma and believes that karma is just an illusion. then how does his bad actions will harm him? For example, if I kill a mouse but I totally believe that nothing will happen, karma or religion is just people's belief, then will I ever be punished for that karma and such believe? Because there is also one saying that everything is just our belief? And also if I later ask for forgiveness to god for my bad karmas then will my bad karmas be forgiven?

I have never meditated before. I really want to get into meditation to explore the benefits, especially trying to understanding who I am and how my mind affects my perception of reality (looking for spiritual growth etc). So, for the past week I have spent an hour a day, what I understand as meditating, on my own in a quiet room. From my very first session onward, my mind has simply been completely blank during meditation (after allowing 1 minute to adjust to such a state). I don't experience any form of brain chatter (I hardly ever do), I sit easily for an hour with only a handful of thoughts occurring to me, although I feel completely focussed, awake, present and aware. I don't force a blank mind, it simply goes quiet when I focus on breathing (perhaps due to my inability to multitask). In short, I simply feel I get no benefit from this, other than experiencing some sort of longish-lasting blissful state (but I thought there is more to it). From my limited understanding, I understand that the ideal meditation state is getting your mind as still as possible, then simply observe (non-judgmentally) any thoughts passing by, realising it's all conceive by the mind and learning from what you witness as a kind of 'outside observer'. Since I don't observe much, I feel I don't learn anything at all. **Can anyone perhaps please shed some light on my situation and tell me what benefit I can get from meditation when I find my mind is already completely blank and I have no thoughts during meditation sessions.** ----------------- *Just to give you some background context in the event that it might help ... I have immense focus and no ability whatsoever to multitask. e.g. I literally have to stop a conversation when I plug a plug into a wall socket. On the other end, I can easily sit still and concentrate for hours and hours. In general, my mind is overflowing with ideas whenever I want it, but I simply find that my mind goes offline when I meditate and I don't find it helpful in my deeper spiritual search.*

I have come across a reference to the Majjhima Nikaya (MN) noted as MN 1.436. In my own book (The Middle Length Discourses of the Buddha: A translation of the Majjhima Nikaya by Bhikkhu Nanamoli and Bikkhu Bodhi) there are 152 suttas and each sutta can be sub-divided into a number of vaggas but I can't figure out how one arrives at the aforementioned reference (just newly started to take an interest in the literature). Kind Regards Bo

I have read a sutta where the Buddha says that there are elements from other religions in his dharma and certain elements from his dharma in other religions as well. I'm looking for that sutta.

I've just answered a question referencing Alan Watts . I'm aware he isn't a straightforward figure though I've always found him provocative and interesting. At one point I though he was a Buddhist having written books such as The Way of Zen . I'm pretty sure that isn't the case now. So the question is what kind of relationship did Alan Watts have to Buddhism. Was he a practitioner at any point in his life or did he just use the ideas in a kind of heady new age type of mix that he was pushing at the time?

Sometimes I see comments like, "the Buddha never taught the four noble truths to laypeople". - Is that so? - If so, why didn't he? - Aren't the 4NT the best, most succinct and most helpful, part of the Dhamma? - Isn't that difficult to reconcile with the teacher's not having a "closed fist"? I know that the first sutta was only to the five wanderers (who were not house-holders); but doesn't the [Kalama sutta](https://www.accesstoinsight.org/tipitaka/an/an03/an03.065.than.html) , for example, warn against greed -- and the precepts, and suffering, all in one sentence? > And this greedy person, overcome by greed, his mind possessed by greed, kills living beings, takes what is not given, goes after another person's wife, tells lies, and induces others to do likewise, all of which is for long-term harm & suffering. Isn't that the first two or three noble truths right there? So if someone says that he didn't teach the 4NT, are they (more specifically) saying that he didn't teach the noble eightfold path? But the noble eightfold path is a.k.a. the three trainings. And he definitely taught virtue, so ... is it saying that he didn't teach wisdom nor concentration? So is it saying, and is true, that he didn't teach e.g. meditation to laypeople? [Can lay people be enlightened](https://dhammawiki.com/index.php/Lay_arahant) at all -- if so, how without the 4NT? And is it true to say that the 4NT are certainly taught to laypeople now? Even to children? I'm surprised to find that they're not mentioned in the introduction to the Jataka Tales ([here](http://www.sacred-texts.com/bud/bits/bits009.htm) and [here](http://www.sacred-texts.com/bud/bits/bits010.htm)) , though it does summarise Dependent Origination. I don't remember such a book in detail but I imagined that the 4NT would be included in any kind of popular introductory book, such as one that mentions [the four sights](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Four_sights) . [This answer](https://buddhism.stackexchange.com/a/1492/254) says that the 4NT is part of the doctrine shared by all schools of Buddhism. Is it true to assume that every Buddhist in every country (including lay people) knows what the 4NT are?

What is the manner in which those meditating on emptiness actually bring their contemplations into a practical, experienced form? In other words, how does insight (on emptiness) become effective in every day life?

What does Buddhism say about polyamory? By polyamory I mean a consensual romantic relationship that involves more than two adult people, which may or may not involve sexual contact. Is it wholesome, unwholesome or neutral? Is it any different than a romantic relationship between two people? Do different branches or traditions have different views on this subject?