Was the Buddha neutral on self-centredness or selfishness?

In SN3:8 ([Mallikā Sutta](https://www.dhammatalks.org/suttas/SN/SN3_8.html)) , when asked by King Pasenadi if there is anyone dearer to her than herself, Queen Mallika answered: > “No, great king. There is no one dearer to me than myself. And what about you, great king? Is there anyone dearer to you than yourself?” Likewise, the King answered that he saw himself to be of utmost importance. When the Buddha was informed of this conversation, he affirmed that such is the case with *all beings*. In our modern society, self-centredness (hereby termed as selfishness) has gotten a bad reputation while altruism (selfless concern for others) is widely celebrated. Therefore, I find it interesting and strange that the Buddha did not disapprove of the selfishness as expressed in the above sutra but only stressed that we should restrain from hurting others just as we would not want ourselves to be hurt i.e. [norm of reciprocity](https://www.thebehavioralscientist.com/glossary/reciprocity) . Seeing that selfishness has a tendency to result in [self-obsession as evident in this definition](https://www.berkeleywellbeing.com/selfishness.html) : > the state of being very focused on one’s own needs and well-being with a correspondingly decreased focus on the needs and well-being of others Thus, my questions as below. 1. Why didn’t the Buddha disapprove of selfishness? 2. Isn’t selfishness a cause for people to hurt/harm others either intentionally/consciously or unintentionally/unconsciously. 3. Why didn’t the Buddha encourage his followers to “love thy neighbour as thyself”? Wouldn’t it help reduce self-obsession and potential problems in relationship due to selfish behaviour? 4. Could this be one possible cause for the philosophical difference between Theravada and Mahayana? Whereas the former is neutral on selfishness, the latter encourages compassion and pursuing enlightenment for the benefit of all beings.