Refuse the Call of God?

I am a Christian, I want to teach and share the word of God as I wish but I do no want the call of God upon my life. This may sound weird but please hear me out first. I want to spread the word of God, its my passionate, something I love to do. But I don't want it to be like tag on me. I don't know if I'm making sense, I can explain further on request. My question is, is this ideology wrong?