Can I become a messianic Jew

I am a Christian....however I no longer believe in many of the celebrations.... Christmas....Easter.....these are indeed pagan holidays and I think even if the person does not pay tribute to Nimrod nor Ishtar/Easter openly the foundation of the worship of both are still present in these holiest of celebrations. I'll go so far as to say that the deception runs throughout today's modern Christian church by leaders who are complicit in the deception at best just plain ignorant. What should I do? I imagine Messianic Jews know and practice the feasts set forth by Yahweh and know too that pagan practice runs throughout the Christian Church.