I am seeking advice for blasphemous intrusive thoughts
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I suffer with Pure obsessive compulsive disorder. I regularly have intrusive thoughts of all different kinds and I can be pretty anxious sometimes. Although I know that thoughts are only just thoughts, I can't help but feel that the thoughts have a negative karmic effect. I never agree with such thoughts and do my best to just maintain awareness of them and letting them go.
Although they sometimes do take over my mind, It's generally alright to deal with. However, earlier today, I was in the middle of a crude act. I.e masturbation. During the session, I had intrusive, blasphemous thoughts of a Bodhisattva. My mind had created a thought which involved seeing the bodhisattva in a sexual way. Even just typing this is making me feel extremely uncomfortable but I desperately need advice. It was obviously never my intention to think those thoughts. What are the karmic effects of this? I respect all Buddhas and all Bodhisattvas immensely. I respect all beings immensely. Have these thoughts planted a very negative seed?
I have a huge fear right now of a hell rebirth. Although I know that I didn't intend for those thoughts to happen and I know that I don't agree with such thoughts and I know that thoughts are just thoughts, do these kinds of thoughts hold a stronger 'weight' to them? I know that a violent thought is bad. But is a blasphemous thought towards a Buddha or bodhisattva really bad?
Please help. I'm grateful for any wise words.
Asked by Tomato Tomato
(21 rep)
Nov 6, 2020, 09:47 PM
Last activity: Nov 8, 2020, 05:31 PM
Last activity: Nov 8, 2020, 05:31 PM