Crippling fear of hellfire &, damnation, please help?

My original belief used to be that as long as you are a decent good person without any intentions to hurt others, you'll be fine. Meaning that no matter what religion you follow, no matter how flawed you are as a person (stubborn, short-tempered, basically all the imperfections of a human), you will not be damned to hell. To me, it used to be that there are so many religions and so many hells and heavens that comes with them, but they teach one main thing: to love and to be kind, and that would be all that we had to follow. However, this belief was recently shaken with my grandmother's passing. She was a buddhist. I thought that because she was a good lady who never really harmed anyone directly, she would be at peace and with God/Buddha, but throughout her 5-day funeral service, there were so many things to follow (offering incense, chanting etc.) to ensure she moves on, and I developed this fear that if these rituals and rules weren't followed properly, she would go to hell/not be able to move on. I'm an anxious person. I get fixated on things. On the final two nights of her funeral service we had to sit down and chant from some scripture books to help my grandma move on (again, what happens if there's no one doing that? Say a Buddhist that doesn't have a family who knows to follow these customs/a Buddhist with no family/a person of any other religion?). While reciting some of the scriptures, though difficult, I briefly read something about how humans are imperfect for wanting good things, being lustful, and basically all the things in human nature that makes us flawed and of course, all the very specific different kinds of hell that comes with. It feels like we're all comforting ourselves that my grandma is resting in peace now, but this huge part of me has this crippling fear that my grandma (as well as the rest of us) will not rest in peace and instead be suffering at the end of our lives for being imperfect humans. I'm only 22, and I start having this intense fear of doing virtually anything as a human. I'm afraid of not being wise and selfless like old monks, I'm afraid of wanting to strive for anything, or ranting about any dissatisfaction, feeling upset by things, having fun, treating myself with self-love and basically anything at all. I feel so crippled by the fear I wake up unhappy and afraid to live and afraid to die as well. It's consuming me so much and I'm deathly afraid of it, because I'm spiralling. The more I read and research, the more afraid and unsettled I get. I even read that feeling fear and anxiety is bad and I'll also be damned for that. Could someone kind enough maybe please offer me some words of comfort and lead me back to a rational mindset? I've been Buddhist since birth, but like I said above, I've always thought of Buddhism as a religion about love, forgiveness, and karma. Karma meaning if you do something bad, you can something on par in return. Not in a sense that if I feel anxious, live in fear I get reborn as an animal living in fear. That just makes me feel the whole religion is so scary like one misstep or one imperfection as a human, and you'll be damned. This is still a grieving period for my family, and I want to be there for my mother for the loss of my grandmother, but I'm so scared right now. I want to be able to cheer her up, treat ourselves to nice meals and desserts, watch movies and basically just have fun like a human living their best lives, but after reading into Buddhism I feel like that's all wrong and there is no forgiveness like there is in Christianity or something else. Maybe I got the whole perception wrong, but could somebody please help me? I'm not trolling, so please use kind words. Thank you so much.